"Unwanted" Girls

At camp this year, we learned about the people of India, their culture, and their religion. I think we had great discussions, learning together about these people on the other side of the world.

I wanted to make sure that you heard about an amazing news story from India. There were many girls who had been given the names "Nakusa" or "Nakushi" as a baby, which are words that mean "unwanted." There was something about these baby girls that made their family say, "We don't want you. And we don't want you soooo much, that we are going to tell the whole world that by naming you Unwanted." For most of them, it was just the fact that they were born a girl, not a boy.

What would it be like to grow up with the name "Unwanted"? Every time your mother calls you to set the table, or your brother asks you to play a game, or your father wakes you up in the morning - every time someone says your name, they remind you that you are not enough. Your name means that you are a burden to your family. You are not wanted in your own family.

As a mother, as a camp counselor, as a camp director, and as a human being, this breaks my heart. What I have always wanted for my girls (which is every single girl that I have ever counseled or directed in a camp) is that they know there is someone else on this earth that cares for them. My prayer is always for peace and safety for my girls. No matter what else happens in your life, there are people who love you. You are loved. You are a child of God. You are special! You are wanted!

Last month, a district in India held a mass ceremony where 285 girls were able to choose their own name. Some chose names with happy meanings, some chose strong names, and others chose names of Bollywood stars. They will have the memories of their childhood forever, but now they have the chance to take back their lives and find an inner purpose for themselves.

You are smart. You are strong. You are beautiful.

The entire article can be found here.

The Best Halloween Costume

Halloween was yesterday. I had such a fun time dressing up and going trick-or-treating with my daughter! But what I saw when I was shopping, and what I saw when I was trick-or-treating, was kind of terrifying... super-sexy, short or mini skirts. And it's freakin' cold, because we're in the Pacific Northwest! Who does that?!? Oh, the 10-35 year olds.

There is never a need for a young woman to dress that way, at any age. When I was 12, dressing in those clothes meant that you were dressing as a hooker for halloween. Now, the Princess costume is too short, the Little Red Riding Hood costume shows cleavage, and the french maid... the French Maid has been an symbol of exotic sex for old white men for so long. I do not understand why a woman would ever want to wear it, let alone a teenage girl.

What is the best outfit you could ever wear? You! You are smart, strong, and beautiful. You do not need a short skirt or a low-cut shirt. You do not need to put yourself on display. You can be fun, crazy, kooky and cute - without being provacative.

This is a link to an blog written by a teenage girl, and her experience shopping for a Halloween costume (with her mom!):

Tricks and Treats: Return to Innocence

Grief: The Other Youth Camp

The last day of Jr. High Girls camp - while we were cleaning and packing, hugging and laughing - 600 youth were gathered for their own youth camp in Norway. An attack had been made on the capital city, so when a police officer arrived at the camp, everyone gathered around to check in and find out what was happening. But that man was not a police officer. He was an evil man in a suit, pretending to be safe. He pulled out guns and ammunition, and fired on the camp. 68 people were killed.

When I came home and heard the stories, I was devastated. What about my girls? Are they safe in this world? I always think that camp is safer than home; camp is where our youth go to feel protected in God's arms and spend a week (or longer) in the presence of the all-loving God. But these kids were at camp. Did their parents think they were sending them to a safe place? Of course. Those are 60+ devastated families who thought their children were safe at camp. I always feel safer at camp.

So what do we do when presented with this horror? I wasn't sure at first. I didn't know how to feel: relieved that it wasn't my camp; afraid; angry; upset; sadness for the families; happy to be in my own home; confused; frustrated because I can't do anything. What I've decided is that I need to pray. I'm praying for peace for the families, and peace for the world, and peace for the troubled spirit that caused all this destruction. Please join me in my prayer for peace!

Camp Diet

"Didn't we just eat?"

"All we do is eat!"

"They're trying to fatten us up, like turkeys!"

"Gobble! Gobble!"

I heard these comments repeatedly all week at camp. Everyone acted like we ate til the point of bursting, and that at any moment, their bodies would explode! And yet... I lost weight...

I don't normally like that word, diet. It is not a happy word. It brings up feelings of anger and failure and memories of unsatisfying food. But going to camp is a diet! Three meals a day, with two small snacks. The days were structured so that every meal and exercise time was the same (mostly) every day. And even though we ate processed cheese, pizza, soda pop, and licorice, it was within moderation. I would love to go on the Camp Diet for the rest of the year!

The structure of the week helped to with my Spiritual Diet as well! Every morning I woke up to Morning Worship, and God was always present. In Theme Class, we talked about different understandings of who God is, which opens up to the presence of God always. In Jump Start to the Heart, we were reminded of the fact that God created us to be women: silly, fun, goofy women! Before going to bed, we were reminded of the love of God at our evening campfire.

Next time you're worried about your health, try going on the camp diet! Get plenty of sleep! Wake up with an easy exercise before eating a good breakfast! Spend your morning learning about and experiencing God! Eat a nice lunch before taking a nap! Get silly (and wet) playing around in the afternoon (Water Games!)! Eat a good dinner! Be honest and open with the people you love, and chat! Spend some time around a campfire! And brush your teeth!

What is Beautiful?

During chats at camp, one girl asked the question, "What is beautiful?" She wanted to know how society reached the decision of what is beautiful, and how that translated to magazine covers and actresses and advertisements. At the time, all I said was, "those decisions were made by men who wanted to make money." Which is true, but I would like to expand.

We have all been trained by society and our own smaller portion of it (of friends and family) to understand what beauty is according to our own societal rules. What is beautiful, attractive, or sexy does not usually come from our own understanding. Part of what is especially hard for women is discovering if we think that outfit is cute because men say its cute, or we genuinely think, as women, that its cute. "Do I like the way I look in this, or do I like the attention I'm going to get from boys in this?" And for some girls, it is important to have an outfit that gets them attention from the boys. But I think just having the internal discussion of, "Why do I like this?" is soooooo very important! Is it genuinely that I like it, or that I think others will like it?

There was recently a commercial for the movie, "Crazy Stupid Love." In the commercial, Ryan Gosling's character says that men won the Battle of the Sexes as soon as women started doing pole dancing for exercise. I would completely agree. It feels like men have tricked women into thinking that embracing the male understanding of beautiful and attractive is somehow empowering women... it's not. Women can only be empowered by embracing our own understanding of beautiful! Society's definition of beautiful is hurting teenage girls and young women in our country, which you can see from the rise of eating disorders and the desire for real beauty that is slowly gaining speed. Some girls and women are looking for role models that actually look like them, while others are hurting their bodies and minds trying to look like the wrong role models.

So what is beautiful?

Camp 2011 is complete

Jr. High Girls camp 2011 is over, and yet I still am up thinking about my girls, wondering how they're doing, and planning for next year! I can't help it! I just absolutely adore my girls! Who could not?

For some reason, Jr. High is the most feared age group by adults. But what I have learned is that they are all strong, smart, and beautiful! And this week was no exception! Each girl was completely unique, and were amazingly honest and spoke with courage and conviction. Too often young women have learned to keep their mouths shut; by their parents or by society; out of fear or distrust or shame or uncertainty... but these girls still had a voice! They were beautiful, and I appreciate that I was able to witness it.

It really is an amazing age! On one hand, they're still clinging to their childhood, to the stories of their parents, to only what is familiar. On the other, they're branching out, courageously trying to find out what it means to be an individual, to be independent. This struggle will continue for years, but this is the beginning of their journey! This is when we can give them support and love, that no matter how far they go on their road to independence, they are loved. And I do try so very hard to stay in contact with all my girls.

And this camp tends to bring some people full circle. This year, one of our camp counselors was Paige. Paige was in my first cabin of girls when I first counseled for Jr. High Girls camp. How amazing was that? Two years ago, one of my counselors was Michele, who was the CIT my first year as a Jr. High camper. This year's Camp Pastor, Kerry, was the Camp Director and youth leader when I was a Jr. High camper. I cannot wait to see one of this years' campers as a camp counselor someday! Maybe she'll be the counselor when my daughter's old enough for Jr. High Girls camp... I can't wait!